Wednesday, July 29, 2009

How I offended people this week

The wedding is Saturday. Most things are coming together very well (with the exception of a bridesmaid dress that doesn't fit at all . . . )

The groom's family is flying in tonight from Tennessee and Indiana. They called the groom, Dan, a couple days ago to ask what kind of attire would be appropriate for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Dan was at our house when the phone call came in, so he deferred to me.

The idea I wanted to get across to them was to feel free to keep it casual. However, as Dan was speaking to his younger brother, I also wanted to make it clear that casual did not mean sloppy. And my choice of words? To a young man I've never met? Who hails from the South?

"No wife beaters."

Yeah. I'm pretty sure our first meeting will go swimmingly . . .

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Poor little Youngest.

Youngest is suffering a terrible loss of mother time because of a small thing called THE WEDDING THAT'S IN 11 DAYS!!!

Also, Youngest spends all his time hiking with friends and skateboarding and doing yard work for grandparents. Whenever I am home, he cares not whether he is here to take advantage of that wonderful fact. But the days when I go in to work, or, heaven forbid!, the time I am spending on last minute schlepping/creating/helping for the upcoming party he counts as time that I am blatantly ignoring him. If you could only see the pathetic expression on his sad little face as he moans, "I have no mother . . . *sigh* . . . "

Yeah. Don't try for the guilt or anything, Youngest.

Before he went to bed tonight I poked my head in to wish him sweet dreams and maybe give him a smidgen of my highly sought after attention.

"Goodnight, Youngest," I said.

"No sprecken ze Witch," came the reply.

If it hadn't been so clever I'd really be upset : )

motherless waif . . .

Saturday, July 18, 2009

talk the talk

We have been a significant part of Sweet Pea's life since she was born. We babysit several times a week at our house and I'm frequently at their house as well. It's been such a privilege to watch her change and grow. Babies are endlessly fascinating to watch.

She has been crawling for some time. And now she stands up on her own--it's so cool because she'll be in the middle of a room or the yard and, with nothing to help her, she'll just stand up. Cutest thing ever : )

She also talks! She says mama and dada and yumyum (which comes out more like num num : ) She says hi and bye bye and Gabe (big brother's name.) And she says doggie.


But not Grammy.


It won't be long, I'm quite sure, until she learns that to get the things she really wants (that pretty dress or candy . . . or a pony . . . ) "Grammy" is the only word necessary : )

Friday, July 17, 2009

sneak preview

The flowers--or bouquet--if you will, for a friend . . .

I'll expand on this when I have time : )

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Why can't I just win *one*?

Why is it that nothing interesting ever comes my way on a normal day? But on a day when I end up leaving the house looking like a hot tranny mess--anything can happen!

I went to work at 8:30 this morning. Directly after work (without passing Go and without collecting $200) I had a meeting with some people about a thing. For a couple hours. Long, long hours . . . After the meeting with the people about the thing, I decided to finally go set up an account at the tanning place because the wedding is two and a half weeks away and what better time to risk burning, blistering and peeling. Am I right?

Next, sans makeup and covered in oily tanning goo, I decided to make a quick trip to Wal-Mart. (You don't even have to say it. I already know. Wal-Mart is the crux of the problem. I'm aware. Whenever I add Wal-Mart into any equation, it's like trying to multiply by zero--nothing good or positive or rational is ever going to come of it.)

I was at Wal-Mart buying flowers for a friend. Standing in line with no make-up, wearing jeans and my work T-shirt (not the most feminine garment ever engineered) and holding a bouquet of delicious roses, I suddenly thought that I probably looked (and I hope this isn't offensive) really butchy and like I was probably in trouble with my girlfriend so I was apologizing with roses.

And then I got to wondering because, darn it anyway, I'm adorable so if I'm standing there looking all gay and remorseful for having hurt my partner's feelings, why aren't all the lesbians in the store hitting on me?

And while I was mulling over my failure as a lesbian, I heard someone say my name. Not my actual name, Kristin, but the flat, tepid, defying-society-while-attempting-to-fade-into-the-junior-high-crowd name, Kris.

I am so unaccustomed to being called by that name that I didn't connect it with myself. After I heard it ring out a second time I realized I was being spoken to and turned around.

It was one of the most important people not to be seen by when one has no make-up, is covered in oily tanning goo and wearing unflattering clothes--it was a high school flame. It was Bobby. (Who, if he hadn't been the one to say hello, I never would have recognized. Because of the facial hair. And the 25 intervening years . . . )

Bobby and I had a brief relationship back in the day. We clung to each other as salve for both of our broken hearts. I don't remember how it ended (no doubt with me being a giant jerk . . . ) but I don't think there are any hard feelings. Or, if there were, it was so long ago that it's forgotten.

Standing in Wal-Mart, Bobby and I caught up for a few delightful minutes and then, when there was pretty much nothing else to say, we parted ways.

Obsessing over how craptastic I looked for this chance meeting with a ghost of relationships past, I walked quickly to my car. Or a car that looked like mine . . . that didn't respond to my remote . . . just in case I didn't already look like a big enough loser today . . . Seriously. Just one break, one time would be fanfreakingtastic!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I know, I know, I haven't been updating at all . . .

T minus 3 weeks from the wedding.

My lovely daughter has everything very well planned out, but at the same time she is being laid back and trusting about the details. For example, her mentor, Sara, is making her dress. They bought the fabric and discussed the pattern months ago but only took Beautiful's measurements last Wednesday. Beautiful isn't worried. Sara will deliver and it will be lovely.

Though most everything has been thoughtfully mapped out--we have a timeline, we have farmed out tasks to willing family members--it's still difficult not to be a little frantic as the date nears. There are things I can't finish too far ahead of time--like the programs. There are issues we can't control--like extra people inviting themselves to the rehearsal dinner. But my sweet girl keeps reminding me (and herself) that it doesn't have to be a perfect day. It's a day to celebrate being a family with all the people she loves. The most important thing is that they will be married.

And I believe it when she tells me that. Last night I was at their house discussing the order of the ceremony. Lily stirred a little in her sleep so I picked her up and rocked her. Meanwhile, Daddy ran to get a bottle for his sweet baby. Beautiful looked at her slumbering child in my arms and then looked at Dan. I could see her expression change. A smile and a flush. Her eyes welled up. She is a woman who is deeply in love and is grateful for her blessings. And what a blessing it was for me to witness that moment.

*sigh* . . .