Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Bitch tryin to steal my boyfriend!

While having my eyebrows waxed today (yes, I know there's some big ole recession--but this was an eyebrow emergency!) I was chatting with my esthetician (and yes, I refer to her as my esthetician because, hello, have you met my eyebrows?) about books (and yes, that was one hell of a long sentence just to say I talked about books with a sort-of acquaintance.)

She has been reading The Shack while I recently finished The Road. After she sadistically ripped the hair from my face, we were standing at the reception desk still discussing.

When the receptionist overheard me mention Cormac McCarthy, she looked up excitedly and asked, "What did you think of The Road?"

"While sad and depressing, I loved it! Did you know they're making it into a movie even as we speak?"

"Yes!" she answered gleefully, "and it's starring my boyfriend!"

"Wha? No--that can't be right. He's my boyfriend!"

"Nope. Sorry. Mine."

Quickly changing the subject, the hussy receptionist asked if I'd read or watched No Country For Old Men.

"I've read it, but haven't had a chance to see it yet. I've heard the movie holds up well to the book. Did you think so?" I asked--feigning interest with this woman who would steal my man!

"Yes, but I was glad to have read the book first. Some parts of the movie would have been hard to understand if I hadn't. And Javier Bardem was perfect as the crazy guy."

"Mmmmmm, Javier Bardem . . . " I drooled, "he's my second choice boyfriend in case Viggo should for some reason pick you over me."

[Okay, I said Javier Bardem . . .




but I was thinking Benicio Del Toro . . .


Come to think of it, either man would do . . . either dark, mysterious, handsome, sultry man . . . ]

"Viggo? He's not the star of The Road--it's Christian Bale."


"No, it's Viggo. I've looked it up on imdb.com--that must mean it's true." Then, doing the math in my head, I added, "So, since Christian Bale is your boyfriend, that leaves Viggo open for me--we don't have to have a girlfight!"


"Did you see Viggo in Eastern Promises? That scene with him in the Turkish bath?"


"Yeah--and omigosh was I impressed! To do that whole scene naked was an incredibly brave thing--but the only way it could have been done."


I looked around at the other women in the reception area who were openly gawking at us and asked, "Everyone knows what we're talking about, right?"


"No," laughed another patron, "but I sure do want to know!"


Oh yes. What woman doesn't want to know?






9 comments:

Angie said...

OMG- what great photos of Viggo you found..

I'm afraid both Javier and Viggo are very comitted to me so you have no chance.

BUT then again I've never had my eyebrows done so you may have an unfair advantage over me, you vixen!

Curse you, Country Mouse!

xoxoxo

Tink said...

When you see the movie version of "No Country for Old Men" could you please explain something to me?
I have not read the book, therefore not sure if the question I have is answerable without seeing the flick. :)

I liked "The Shack", have not read "The Road"....gonna go check it out sista.

Awesome eye candy here this morning btw!!!

Flutterby said...

Ok I need to take a breath here and start over... I didn't get past Viggo.. bath... and naked.

Whitenoise said...

Girls are weird.

country mouse said...

No fair, Angie--you can't claim Javier *and* Viggo--you gotta share the wealth. And (as long as we're being realistic) I may have lovely eyebrows, but your cooking is sublime and I'd lose out the moment either of them tasted your food . . . *sigh*

If I ever get a chance to see the movie we'll talk, Tink. Mind you, I live in a house full of boy/men so pretty much all we watch is Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs . . .

Flutterby, I see no reason to get past those 3 items--those were the main thrust of my post (pun *fully* intended ; )

Yeah, Whitenoise, and we have cooties too : )

Mary said...

You know, I think I need to remind *both* you and Angie that I found Viggo first. Totally. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Neither of you can have him. Un-huh. No way.

Unless of course I get Clive Owen, then Viggo's up for grabs.

Hmm . . . then again - the two of them? Absolutely do-able.

country mouse said...

Knowing your affinity for Clive, I figured I could get away with claiming Viggo for myself, Mary : )

But the two of them? Do-able? Mmmmmm, yes the two of them together--that *could* be doable
>; )

Mary said...

I had to come back and comment again because I just finished "The Road" an hour or so ago.

Dear God, woman. You loved this one? Really? I thought "No Country For Old Men" was the best book I've read in easily a decade (maybe more) but this one just slayed me, and not in a good way. I've been forever altered. Pulitzer be damned, this book was absolutely . . .

shit.

Given my reaction, I guess there's something to this whole prize-winning, thought-provoking, deeply disturbing book after all.

Whatever. Right about now I'm wishing I'd never picked the thing up.

country mouse said...

Ooooh-now *that's* not a good review : )

It's interesting, Mary, I found No Country to be utterly depressing and devoid of any hope. Yet I loved The Road. Yes, loved it.

I'm in awe of the way McCarthy percolates everything down to what's most important--and ultimately asks the question (without really asking it and certainly without commenting either way) 'why bother?' Why bother getting up in the morning? Why bother trying to survive? What's the point?

I tried pursuing this line of thought with NonSon. He's not ready to think about it. He's not ready to face 'why bother'. He's not ready for lots of things . . .