Number One Son is vehemently against Hallmark holidays. But he has a girlfriend and she is every bit a girl. She likes romance and a little wooing--nothing wrong with that.
While Number One adores her and doesn't mind thinking of creative ways to surprise his girl, the idea of climbing aboard the store bought courtship train rankles. He does what any self-respecting (and self-preserving) guy does: he compromises.
He's giving her a basket of goodies specifically aimed at calming her grade-school-teacher-in-an-economically-disadvantaged-area-with-baby-gangster-students nerves. Massage oil, bath salts--special little luxuries like that. Plus two unique medications.
Dr. Number One Son wrote the prescriptions and asked Greg The Pharmacist to type the official labels. Instructions are as follows:
- ANTI-CHILD HISTAMINE--Take two tablets by mouth daily or as needed for temporary relief of unruly children.
- EUPHORIEX--Promotes feelings of relaxation and well being when taken regularly with a steady dose of Boyfriend.
Discussing this clever dosage of love with my coworkers reminded a technician, Robbie, of a pseudo prescription his former boss made for a friend. The vial was filled with green M&Ms and was assigned the drug name Mycocksafloppin.
Happy Valentine's Day.