Sunday, February 15, 2009

now I'm just stealing material . . .

Here's a fun fact:
I've been blogging again lately!

Another fun fact (only without the fun, so . . . just a fact . . . )
The muse has pretty much left me. Oh well, I sure enjoyed it while it lasted : )

And now that I've actually started blogging again, Hubby and I are going away for most of the week for our anniversary! I'll have no internet access, probably won't take pictures, won't be able to keep up with all of your blogs and generally will lose the rhythm again and have nothing to share for three more months except cute grandbaby pictures : )

Knowing that I'm letting all of my readers down (both of you--I know, it's scandalous!) I'll leave you with something I took straight from Kuckie's blog (Hi, Kuckie!)

Anyone willing to argue that the content of the following isn't the absolute truth about men and women? Anyone?

Didn't think so : )

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
  • Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  • Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
  • If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  • Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
  • Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
  • Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  • Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
  • Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
  • Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
  • Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
  • Rinse conditioner off hair.
  • Shave armpits and legs.
  • Rinse off.
  • Turn off shower.
  • Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
  • Spray mold spots with Tilex.
  • Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  • Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
  • Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
  • If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

  • Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
  • Walk naked to the bathroom.
  • If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
  • Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
  • Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
  • Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
  • Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  • Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
  • Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
  • Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
  • Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
  • Pee.
  • Rinse off and get out of shower.
  • Partially dry off.
  • Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
  • Admire wiener size in mirror again.
  • Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.
  • Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
  • If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
  • Throw wet towel on bed.

6 comments:

Whitenoise said...

haha... ;-)

Cindy said...

LOL! This one is on my top 5 list of country mouse posts! I think you must have been spying on us when we are showering....you have it down, girl!

Anonymous said...

this made me laugh out loud even though no one is here to enjoy it with me :)

countrymouse said...

Sorry to say it Cindy, but this isn't my work--I totally stole it : )

I laughed out loud too--especially at the guy part!

Angie said...

Oh Kristin! Hubby and I got huge charge out of this. We can sooo relate. Hope you had a great getaway. Love, Angie

one little simitopian said...

This is hilarious- because it's TRUE! So so true.