Thursday, August 28, 2008

it feels a little like stealing

As newlyweds, Hubby and I bought a modest house. Eleven months into our marriage we also welcomed our first child.

In other words, according to our choices, we had a life full of commitments and lacking in disposable income. Which is fine--it's what we wanted.

But now suddenly having spare, obligation-free time and squandering it on each other feels a little like we're getting away with something.

During the last couple weeks, Youngest has been spending all day, every day (and most nights) with the neighbor kids before they all go back to their respective schools and activities. Beautiful is spending each available moment with her boyfriend before his job takes him away for awhile and, more importantly, before parenthood changes their lives forever. Number One Son has returned to the university for his final semester.

That has left my sweet hubby and me alone. We've been living as though we're a young couple in the midst of courtship. Frequent lunches out. Evenings together. It's been wonderful.

Last night we met a friend for drinks and a very late dinner. We talked. We laughed. We made fun of other people. And of ourselves. Hubby and I didn't get home until 4 this morning. Then we fooled around and enjoyed each other until nearly 5. Because nobody needed us. Because we didn't need to worry about waking anyone. Because we could.

We're not fools. We know enough to enjoy this little season while it lasts.

Baby Lily is due in two weeks. Everything will change. And as much as we've been enjoying this unexpected "honeymoon" period, we'll welcome that change.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Okay--whew! Back to the world of connection!

Computer is fixed and I am so grateful.

Thank you for the kind notes and good thoughts regarding my lovely daughter. I am grateful for that too.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks and we still have no answers with Beautiful and her chest pain. But she's feeling much better.

She visited with the nurse practitioner at her OB's office who listened very, very carefully to Beautiful's heart during regular breathing, deep breathing, etc. She could hear a bit of tachycardia. Also, Beautiful was having some shortness of breath and dizziness during periods of rest.

The nurse practitioner chose the safe course of action and sent Beautiful to a cardiology clinic to be set up with a 24 hour heart monitor so we could get a good reading of her heart's activity during waking hours, sleeping time, activity and rest. The results of this 24 hours were to be forwarded to Beautiful's OB.

Beautiful visited with her OB on Tuesday. The results hadn't been forwarded. And the OB didn't check Beautiful's heart. And didn't check her for edema. Does that seem kinda crazy to anyone else?

I'm not a doctor. So maybe I'm overreacting.

Baby, however, is doing just fine, thank you : ) She was having the hiccoughs during the examination. She appears to be a healthy weight, size and shape and only has 4 more weeks of baking before the timer goes off!

Did I mention that I'm going to be Beautiful's birth partner? The Boyfriend has tried every avenue (short of breaking a limb--what a wimp ; ) to make it possible to be here when Lily is born. But it doesn't seem to be in the stars. So I'll be there. Watching my little girl in agonizing pain. Watching my little girl become a mother. Watching my granddaughter take her first breath. I'm speechless just thinking about it . . .

Sunday, August 3, 2008

mostly okay with a side of worried

So, the best part about being in the ER from 9:30 pm until 2:45 am with 7-1/2 months pregnant daughter suffering from severe and unexplained chest pain? Both the nurse and the radiologist were genuinely surprised to learn that I am Beautiful's mother and not her sister. Seriously. They weren't even sucking up. Good times!

Oh, and Beautiful? She's still in terrible pain. Unexplained terrible pain. But the baby is fine. Doctors? Sometimes they suck. Like the ER doc who, once convinced Beautiful doesn't have blood clots or any heart or lung issues, couldn't be bothered to answer other questions and left us with a diagnosis of "Pain due to inflammation." Inflammation of what, you ask? Yeah. I would have asked that too if the man hadn't sprinted out of the room never to be seen again.

Oh, and the bitchy after hours nurse at the OBGYN clinic who told Beautiful that the severe chest pain wasn't pregnancy related and therefore wasn't their problem and that Beautiful needed to see a GP? And the GP's office who refused to see Beautiful on the grounds that it was specifically a pregnancy related problem and she should see her OBGYN? Bastards. All of them.

Things I have learned which I pretty much knew already but had a refresher course in:

  • You either need an advocate or have to be in tune enough to be your own advocate when dealing with anything medical or insurance related. Which can be difficult when you're in horrifying pain and scared about your baby's well-being.

  • Mary can be counted upon between the hours of 9:30 pm and 2:45 am to do some googling and get some solid information when the ER doc is a dick. (Oops, sorry Beautiful, I know you don't want to hear your mother speaking that way. Don't read that sentence : )

  • Beautiful's boyfriend? This boy moved Heaven and Earth to leave work and be by her side during the hospital night. And really? That's what a mom wants to know about the guy who has gotten her young daughter pregnant. That he's going to be a stand-up guy and take care of her. Which I already knew, but seeing it in action made me feel all warm and fuzzy. And the fact that he wants their daughter's middle name to be Kristin? Also doesn't hurt my feelings : )

  • Having no computer for OVER A WEEK and not being able to read e-mail or stay in touch with blogging buddies? SUCKS. A lot.

I'll be in touch. Eventually.