Okay. What is it about being over 40 that makes it freaking impossible to lose weight or keep it off once lost?
No. It is not all the Coke I drink.
Nor is it the cookies.
Or the chips.
Shut up! Why are you asking so many questions?
Anyway . . . I have gained back 10 pounds. And lucky me, when I gain weight, it's evenly dispersed over my entire body.
And I'm short. So an extra 10 pounds on me is like an extra 50 pounds on a normal sized, non Oompa Loompa type person.
I can't wear skirts to accentuate my thin legs and take the focus of my tummy. Or don low cut blouses to highlight my long, slender neck and full cleavage, thereby distracting from hips. Nope. I'm pudgy everywhere.
My hair follicles are chubby.
As are my heels.
Hubby continues to have back problems. From his neck to his tailbone.
Oh--and he has always had shoulder, hip, knee, ankle and feet problems. Especially feet. He stepped into a truck the other day and heard--and felt--a pop in his left foot. He can barely walk.
He is a sturdily built man. All muscle. Hard, ripply, muscle . . . sinewy, solid muscle . . . gleaming, powerful, manly . . .
wha? What were we talking about?
Ummm. So anyway. He's built big. And now he can't exercise. And his family has a history of heart disease. I'm a little concerned.
Since his health is on my mind and the prospect of appearing in wedding photos scares the Beelzebub out of me, I've decided we're doing something about this. Right now. Today.
I have declared that hubby shall take up lap swimming. He has declared I can kiss his ass.
I have also decreed that we will both join Weight Watchers On-Line. In fact, I signed us both up today.
But I'm having a bit of trouble with it. Already.
I signed hubby up for the Core Plan option and me for the Flex Plan option. My problem is that I can't find a straightforward list for hubby outlining what food is allowed and I can't find a list for me detailing how many POINTS! common foods have.
There is a "table" for hubby's food, but it's a series of icons that need to be clicked on individually to show that category's acceptable food. [Side note: why is Canadian bacon listed under cereals and grains? WTH?]
Long story short: the site is set up to disallow simple printing or copying and pasting.
With both of our options, we are expected to eat something, plug it into the food calculator and see whether it falls within the limits. This makes very little sense to me.
I do, however, like the Activity Calculator. You enter an activity (say, walking,) the length of time (let's try 20 minutes,) the intensity, (I'm going with low since I was intently listening to my iPod . . . ) and it tells you how many POINTS! said activity is good for (1.)
I plugged in the coordinates for a 30 minute, intense elliptical workout--5 POINTS! Woot!
And then I got to thinking . . .
Turns out that moderately intense sex for 10 minutes is worth, count 'em, 3 POINTS! Brace yourself, hubby--I have a Coke to work off.
And some cookies.
And chips . . .