Friday, June 6, 2008

Bid for 'Mother of the Year' award, Volume # whatever . . .

Alternately titled:

Yet Another Public Service Announcement

After doing various errands while your husband and youngest son are busy with a project at another residence, do not drive into your driveway, turn off the car, open the car door as though you're going to get out of the car but instead stay seated in the car and continue your cell phone conversation with your daughter.

Particularly if your cell phone conversation with your daughter goes anything like this:

"Mom, I don't have your genes and I'm not going to age nearly as gracefully as you are--so stop complaining to me that you found 11 gray hairs. Who cares?!?!?!"

"I care! And speaking of who got what in the genetic crap shoot, you ended up with blessings I didn't get. Which reminds me, I want to get a boob job."

"Mom, you can't afford that."

"Yeah, but if I offed your dad, the insurance money would more than . . . Youngest--where did you come from? And how long have you been standing there? And did you hear me discussing the untimely demise of your father so I could collect his insurance? {Oh please don't tell me you heard me yelling "BOOB JOB"} Don't sneak up on me like that!"


Whitenoise said...

(best Nelson Muntz voice)


Jan said...

Too funny.

Blog publicacion said...

I got excited by the title.
Don’t I know how you feel!!

Mrs. G. said...

Did someone say boob job. If only they had one that didn't involve knives.

countrymouse said...

Captain, Beautiful was here and happened upon your comment before I did. She is forever doing the Nelson ha-ha to me--so your comment was perfect. Made us both laugh : )

Thanks, Jan!

I know, right, Mrs. G? Not involving knives. Or the embarrassment of severe vanity . . .