It happens every time I meet someone new and am offered a cup of coffee or tea or any other grown-up type refreshment.
"I'm sorry," I reply, embarrassed, "I still have kid taste. I have never acquired a liking for grown-up beverages."
When I was a newlywed, my sister-in-law was disheartened to learn that I just didn't enjoy a hot cup of tea. She asked her mother, "Mom, some of our best times together have been over a cup of tea. How am I going to bond with my new sister?" And she was right--though we like each other immensely, we never really have bonded.
It's the same when it comes to wine. Last month when Bossy came to town, we had all enjoyed food and drinks and a wonderful time together. But then several of the women began to discuss ordering a carafe of wine. And suddenly it felt like Thanksgiving and I was a kid sitting at the adults' table. Sadly, I just can't share in that culture.
Not only does my tongue cringe at the taste of wine (cheap or expensive--it makes no difference) but I can't taste anything I'm supposed to be tasting. I can't appreciate it. I have no idea how a particular wine would compliment a particular food. It's like an entire language that I don't speak and will never comprehend.
Today, with the help of a knowing comic, I have learned a new strategy to handle those times when I have to masquerade as a grown-up. As of today, I can fake my way through any wine conversation:
toothpaste for dinner