Sunday, April 6, 2008

Motherhood in an animated nutshell

I saw the original cartoon feature "Charlotte's Web" when I was not yet born. Because it came out in 1973. And I am much too young to have been a 6 year old going to a theater in 1973 . . .

I loved this movie right up until the final moments. But the ending Pissed. Me. Off. I vividly recall walking out during the credits with a bad taste in my mouth. After all that Charlotte did for Wilbur, he didn't even have the sentimental decency to have named one of her daughters after her? Not even her middle name? "WTF?" is what I asked myself. At age 6.

That experience was what I would later learn to recognize as foreshadowing.

Charlotte, for mysterious reasons known only to her and likely part of a HUGE project chick/martyr complex, spent every available moment of her time (and some noticeably-- inconveniently--unavailable moments) trying to save a dumbass, whiny pig from his destiny as bacon.

He never asked for her help, she willingly gave it. He was petulant and bitchy and she, with all the cheerfulness usually brought about only via lobotomy, buoyed his spirits and kept fighting the good fight to save the poor little bastard.

Overly-involved-for-no-apparent-reason-Charlotte went so far as to expend her limited energy saving him at the expense of the provisions she was trying to make for the future of her own children! And for what? For PORK.

And in the end? Charlotte secures Wilbur's safety (and all the credit goes to Wilbur who did nothing more than not crap in public) and then she dies of exhaustion while giving birth.

And Wilbur's contribution to all of this? He bestows names upon Charlotte's three lame, retarded children who can't strike out on their own. And none of them is named after the one who gave her life for him!!! Self-centered, ungrateful son of a bitch.

If this is motherhood--and it is--what's the point?

Please, someone, pass the booze . . .

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

yeah, you don't have issues or anything :)

Simon Sterwin said...

An honest and uncompromising review of a porcine movie.

"Babe" was rubbish, too.

Whitenoise said...

You know, it's never occurred to me to be bothered by this. Until now.

vuboq said...

Well, as you said, Wilbur wasn't the brightest pig in the sty, so maybe he'd already forgotten the spider's name?

countrymouse said...

That seals it, Beautiful. That's the first thing I'm teaching your baby to say (well, right after "you suck" and "grammy's my favorite!") Imagine the sweet, gurgly baby voice with me now--looking deeply into your eyes with those big, soft baby eyes and saying to you, "Yeah, you don't have issues or anything, Mama." heh heh

Yes, Simon--Babe *was* rubbish. If you asked me, *all* pig movies are suspect . . .

Glad to be of service Captain 'Noise. Now--pass the booze already???

Forgot her name, Vuboq? *sigh* the most unkindest cut of all . . .

CheekierMeSly said...

Hmm. Is this harkening back to your non-son issues?

countrymouse said...

Nah, Cheek. Not non-son. I'm just furious at the propaganda my parents exposed me to that led me to be the doormat I am now . . . It's all their fault. I am in no way responsible for this ; )

Mary said...

Man, now I *really* hate that movie. Thanks for opening my eyes, Kristin.

Beautiful, your time is coming . . . ;)

Amy said...

Plus he gives them really stupid names (watch now as all the people names Aranea come after me)

countrymouse said...

I know, Amy, right? And he named one of them Nellie? NELLIE!?!? That awful brat from Little House on the Prairie?

Mary, it's always good to know when I've spread my sunshine to others : )

MissGotWings said...

Thanks for ruining that movie for me. Now that goes on my list of can't-watch-flicks-because-I've repressed-it-since-my-childhood, like "Old Yeller."

On the other hand, I appreciate the forewarning on motherhood.

Kuckie said...

That movie pisses me off too. I never did like it that much!

Kristin, where are you? I miss you!

Geggie said...

Hello? One week later...where are you?

countrymouse said...

Aww, how nice to be missed. Thanks girls : ) I've been busier than normal and haven't had time to blog lately. Plus, my life has suddenly become un-stupid, so what would I even write about? There was this one thing with my daughter's boyfriend meeting the extended family for the first time . . . I'll be posting that one soon : )

Optimist said...

You know - if we would all go vegan, this type of thing wouldn't happen anymore. :)

Found you through Bossy. I like your blog!

Optimist said...

Thanks for coming to visit Slapstick. I get so excited when people leave comments!