Monday, April 21, 2008

I"ll grade on the curve

[First of all--thank you all for the kind words of support yesterday. Words like, "Life can seriously suck sometimes" and "I can make daquiris for when the kamikazis run out" and "Is there anyone you'd like me to beat up?" and "I'm old but lethal" and "the chutzpah" and "Was Crap Weasel driving your vehicle?" and finally, "I may wheeze, but there's more than one way to skin a crap weasel!" What better friends could a girl possibly hope for? All will be well at the Mouse House. Just another pothole . . . And now--we return you to your regularly scheduled program already in progress.]

Country Mouse + vodka = X

  • where Country Mouse = me
  • and vodka = a Kamikaze. Or three. Which is about 2 and 11/14ths more than Country Mouse can handle.
  • solve for X

X equals:

a) Country Mouse found herself to be hilarious while making up a new acronym for use by the hillbilly locals: SILF.

[Kinda like MILF or GILF but customized for the object of rural menfolks' affection* . . . ]

b) After the first bucket of vodka at a restaurant, Country Mouse got talked into going to the casino where she'd never set foot before and on impact was insulted by the wife of hubby's friend who, evidently, has always been suspicious of Country Mouse's lack of social grace (i.e. refusal to join the gang at low-life local casino) and said, "I think working has been good for you, Kristin. Maybe we'll see you here more often now?"

Extra credit: Was Country Mouse's answer to this insult:

  1. 1. Don't hold your bad breath.
  2. 2. Working is "good for me?" Like I once considered the rest of you to be beneath me but now that I've joined the masses in the workforce I have come down from my high horse and can allow myself to be seen amongst the villagers? Maybe you're onto something . . .
  3. 3. Kiss my superior ass.

c) Country Mouse, in yet another spectacular example of her fine motherhood skills, once again forgot about the existence of her Youngest and on the drive home at 2:30 in the morning turned to Mister and said, "Wait a minute . . . where's Youngest?"

d) The following day, Country Mouse folded not one, but two pair of socks from the 3 ginormous loads of laundry on the couch before snuggling into the warm pile of clean clothes for a 3 hour nap.

e) Two or more of the above.

* Sheep. I apologize. Seriously. It was the booze . . .


jenontheedge said...

Or is it answer F: ALL of the above.

And please tell me you told her to kiss your superior ass.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Jen. I believe that would be the most fitting and the funniest of all :)

Asthmagirl said...

I'm going with B and D. For sxtra credit: Kiss my superior ass.

What do I win?

Kuckie said...

I'm sorry, I got distracted...what was the question again?????? :0)

Optimist said...

Oh! Oh! Pick Me Pick Me!!

I say E ???

That pile of warm laundry sounds wonderful BTW - Zzzzzzz

countrymouse said...

Jen's got it--the answer is all of the above : ) Except that my response to the insult was to smile politely and then fume about it to my hubby all the way home. Because I'm polite. And I don't like confrontation. Translation: I'm a wuss : )

Thank you for playing. Everyone gets a Winnebago!

Erin O'Brien said...

I like the tags for this post.