When I started this blog last year I was in a horrible place. I was watching my daughter give her very self to a person who was not worthy. I could see the handwriting on the wall and it was terrifying. In my original profile I stated that my hobby was lying on the couch sobbing 18 hours a day. And that really wasn't too far from the truth.
Not only was I a mess from watching the coming train wreck in my daughter's future, but I think I was beginning to feel useless. Number One Son has really come into his own during the last couple years away at university. And Beautiful was making it clear to me that though she wasn't making the decisions I wanted her to make, they were her decisions--and her mistakes--to make. No matter how much I loved these kids and saw myself continuing on as their mother just like I've always been, I felt the shift. Or maybe I felt the sand shifting beneath my feet. I was being downsized . . .
The changes that have developed over 365 days are nothing short of miraculous. Just as my friends Mary and Mr. Pid reassured me again and again and again, Beautiful finally did the math and broke off the life-sucking relationship. Her circumstances aren't picture perfect now, but she's come a long, long way. And may I indulge in a hallelujah!!!
My dream of massage school has been indefinitely postponed, but that's life and things will somehow work out. Working at a paying job for the first time in over 15 years has proven beneficial for all of us, though I do miss my time with Youngest. I miss homeschooling. I miss being home . . . Then again, Mister is an excellent housewife and takes good care of me : )
This is a fine little community. You all have been incredibly supportive. Writing goofy narratives, sharing about my family, complaining about everything has been liberating in its own way too. Thank you for sharing in the silliness, in the sadness, in the selfishness and the happiness. Y'all are great. Let's get together for drinks : )