Thursday, January 3, 2008

laundry tips

It was during the repellent sewing machine outing that Mister and I visited B&N. He had more research to do, this time regarding car restoration, not HD TVs. (Do not even get me started on how many project pieces of crap are lurking about on our property! I know they're good investments. He always turns an excellent profit. But could there be a better way to advertise "White Trash Resides Here"?????)

I've gotten off the subject.


So. We're at B&N and while he's seriously studying car restoration volumes, I peruse the bargain racks. Lots of lovely art books (who doesn't need dozens and dozens of art books?) tons of 2008 calendars and day-planners at reduced prices (I love the idea of day planners, but come on, this is me . . . ) and miscellaneous oddball, random stuff.

Oddball, random stuff like the guide to fabric and upholstery stain removal.

I figured I should have some familiarity with how to remove butter stains from a sweatshirt. You know, just in case one morning I'm on my way to work, eating a piece of buttered toast in the car, and a little blop of butter ends up on my work sweatshirt and I have to spend the rest of the day making sure my hair covers the big ole' greasy spot and then I come home and wash the sweatshirt but forget about the butter stain and don't put any spot remover on it, and it goes through the dryer thereby setting the effing stain and I can't very well show up at work every day with my hair artfully arranged to hide the nasty, slovenly stain. Hypothetically.

Flipping through the book (and yes, I did learn how to get rid of that hypothetical butter stain) I went to the index. Mud and dirt removal was listed. Great! Because I've always had trouble getting mud and dirt stains out of my kids' clothes.

And as long as I'm checking out the index, let's just see if . . . Yep, there it is: semen stain removal instructions for fabric and upholstery. Because you just never know!

And now I know all I ever wanted to know about butter, mud and semen stain removal. I'm prepared for anything this weekend ; )


Whitenoise said...

semen stain removal instructions for fabric and upholstery. Because you just never know!

You know, this issue would never have crossed my mind had I not visited here today. Ever.

Wow. The things you stumble across on the internet... ;-)

countrymouse said...

"this issue would never have crossed my mind"

That, O Captain, is because you are a man. And a married one at that. It is yours to create the stain and think about it nevermore. It is your wife's to figure it out after that ; )

Rick said...

WOW! I can't wait to read Monday's post to see what thappened this weekend!

CheekierMeSly said...

Anything I write would be a sharing violation, so I'll just have to keep my pie hole firmly shut.

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

Or, you could go the route we did and buy leather furniture. Trust me, you can get anything off leather -- no special instructions needed. And, if you're OCD like my husband, you can sanitize afterward.

Geggie said... do you remove said hypothetical semen stain? Just wonderin'.

I'm having a little contest at my blog if you'd like to participate.

countrymouse said...

sorry, Rick, but you *know* how private I am about things . . .

Hey Cheek--I feel you must be holding out on a REALLY GOOD STORY!!!

Leather, Jen . . . niiiiice ; )

Is it a hypothetical semen removal contest, Geggie? Because if it is, I'm not sharing my secrets ; )