wife: By the way, we're getting divorced.
husband: What's the reason this time?
wife: The engine gaskets sitting on top of my pretty china hutch.
husband: I wondered if you'd notice that. I needed a safe place to put them and Youngest wanted the kitchen table to do a puzzle.
wife: Don't we have a garage and a little shop thingy?
husband: Yes, but they're both too full of stuff and these are important and can't get damaged. Anyway, how could you even see the gaskets through all the cobwebs up there?
wife: Cobwebs?!?! I just vacuumed up there 6 months ago . . .
husband: This kettle corn you made is really good, but eating the kernels hurts those teeth I just had worked on.
wife: But you had that done over a week ago. They're still bothering you?
wife: Well, have you called the dentist like I suggested a few days ago?
husband: Why bother? What's he going to do about it?
wife: Are you kidding me? He's a DENTIST for chrissake! It's his business to know what to do with painful teeth!
husband: Hey? Can you call your mom and ask her if she'd rather I didn't come for dinner since I'm still contagious?
**a short while later**
wife: Mom says it's fine for you to come over; she's not worried about it.
husband: Can I wear my sweats?
wife (mumbling under her breath while walking away): We're getting a divorce, did I mention?
husband: What was that about dementia?????
Oh sure, he probably has his side of the story too. But this is my blog : )