My lovely daughter, Beautiful, moved out again a couple months ago. We use myspace to keep in touch.
Now, before you go judging me for being 40 and having a myspace account, let me explain that it’s a cultivated and practical way for mother and daughter to keep up with all the important news and information we used to share in person.
For your consideration, a transcript from last night:
Kristin: I just gave Youngest the ‘birds and bees’ talk . . .
Beautiful: blahhh!!! not that talk : )
Kristin: He kept hinting and asking. What was I supposed to do?
So I told him that it's a beautiful mystery. You get married. You pray for children. One day, you go to the hospital and pick one out. Unless you're a bad, bad sinner and you're not married . . .
Beautiful: and you'd be in that category i believe : )
Kristin: Oh. I had conveniently forgotten that fact . . .
Well, let that be a lesson to you!
Also, don't have sex. You'll die.
Beautiful: but you didn't die. oh wait, your soul did ; )
Kristin: How is everything going for you tonight--other than the dreadful fact that you are the offspring of a soulless entity?
Beautiful: well, aside from that great disappointment and the fact that my body wants me to get some sleep i'm doing alright. how you doin?
Kristin: I'm okay. I'm reading an interesting (but poorly written) book.
I thought you had already gotten off-line. I was about to accuse you of being all inconsiderate in your behavior (not saying goodnight or goodbye, just logging off with no manners whatsoever . . . ) but I see you're still on. You are forgiven : )
Beautiful: huh, you must be reading shakespeare. the stories are somewhat interesting, but it’s just like with homer--written like a male would write.
oh, and augh! [indignant kelso-from-"That 70’s Show" sound] not inconsiderate! just very busy
Kristin: No, I don't mean poorly written like Shakespeare. I mean this dude's a total amateur! It would have been better if he had told his fascinating story to a real author and let the literature commence from there . . .
Speaking of total amateur, I've just started looking at on-line writing courses. I could definitely improve. Like I could learn to write dialogue. Or fiction. Or something interesting that isn't a silly rant about my absurd daily life . . .
Let me demonstrate my clever and witty craftsmanship with dialogue:
And then she was all, "Dude, your soul is dead."
And I was all, "Dude! Shut up! You're freaking me out! Plus, you’re, like, so rude!"
And she's like, "Augh!" [indignant Kelso sound]
How's that for some fine creative writing!
Beautiful: now that right there is a world class piece! That's what she said ; )
See what I mean about myspace being a cultivated and practical mode of communication? Almost right up there with beautifully written letters from long ago . . .