Wednesday, November 28, 2007

It's not a waste of time! It's not, it's not, it's not!!!

My lovely daughter, Beautiful, moved out again a couple months ago. We use myspace to keep in touch.

Now, before you go judging me for being 40 and having a myspace account, let me explain that it’s a cultivated and practical way for mother and daughter to keep up with all the important news and information we used to share in person.

For your consideration, a transcript from last night:

Kristin: I just gave Youngest the ‘birds and bees’ talk . . .

Beautiful: blahhh!!! not that talk : )

Kristin: He kept hinting and asking. What was I supposed to do?

So I told him that it's a beautiful mystery. You get married. You pray for children. One day, you go to the hospital and pick one out. Unless you're a bad, bad sinner and you're not married . . .

Beautiful: and you'd be in that category i believe : )

Kristin: Oh. I had conveniently forgotten that fact . . .

Well, let that be a lesson to you!

Also, don't have sex. You'll die.

Beautiful: but you didn't die. oh wait, your soul did ; )

Kristin: How is everything going for you tonight--other than the dreadful fact that you are the offspring of a soulless entity?

Beautiful: well, aside from that great disappointment and the fact that my body wants me to get some sleep i'm doing alright. how you doin?

Kristin: I'm okay. I'm reading an interesting (but poorly written) book.

I thought you had already gotten off-line. I was about to accuse you of being all inconsiderate in your behavior (not saying goodnight or goodbye, just logging off with no manners whatsoever . . . ) but I see you're still on. You are forgiven : )

Beautiful: huh, you must be reading shakespeare. the stories are somewhat interesting, but it’s just like with homer--written like a male would write.

oh, and augh! [indignant kelso-from-"That 70’s Show" sound] not inconsiderate! just very busy

Kristin: No, I don't mean poorly written like Shakespeare. I mean this dude's a total amateur! It would have been better if he had told his fascinating story to a real author and let the literature commence from there . . .

Speaking of total amateur, I've just started looking at on-line writing courses. I could definitely improve. Like I could learn to write dialogue. Or fiction. Or something interesting that isn't a silly rant about my absurd daily life . . .

Let me demonstrate my clever and witty craftsmanship with dialogue:

And then she was all, "Dude, your soul is dead."

And I was all, "Dude! Shut up! You're freaking me out! Plus, you’re, like, so rude!"

And she's like, "Augh!" [indignant Kelso sound]

How's that for some fine creative writing!

Beautiful: now that right there is a world class piece! That's what she said ; )

See what I mean about myspace being a cultivated and practical mode of communication? Almost right up there with beautifully written letters from long ago . . .


Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

#1 - You are one of the funniest bloggers I read.

#2 - It's not lame that you have a Myspace account. In fact, I think it's cool.

#3 - You obviously have a good relationship with your daughter, which is a very good thing indeed.

Whitenoise said...

And then I was like, wow, that's so funny. Rock on, lil dudette... ;-)

countrymouse said...

Jennifer--you made my day!!!!!!
And yes, I am blessed to have such a great relationship with beautiful. It's kinda like having a sister, but since I'm older, I always get the final word in any argument ; )

Thanks, 'Noise : )