I am here once again to dispense wisdom. Without further ado, a tip (pretty much only applicable to the ladies):
Should you happen to retire to the bedroom with your significant other for a little, ahem, quality time . . .
And should you happen to turn on the TV in the bedroom to provide subterfuge because there are children in the house and children should never overhear their parents having sex . . . which you know for a fact . . . because you've been down that road before . . .
If per chance when you turn on the TV you decide you don't care what happens to be on, just so long as it provides an adequate aural screen . . .
For, should the TV in the background be playing an episode of the insipid 'Walker, Texas Ranger' . . .
And if, by coincidence, during the segue between foreplay and the main event the insipid TV program reaches the pivotal, inspirational, emotional moment . . .
And the song accompanying said inspirational, emotional moment turns out to be "Climb Every Mountain" at the very moment that your husband is, ummmmmmmm, summiting a small, wife-shaped mountain . . .
You might (since you can ignore neither the song nor the coincidence) accidentally giggle.
Do not giggle!
Significant other might think you are giggling at him . . .
He might, in fact, worry that you are giggling because you are comparing him to Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
- Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse . . . horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Giggling--followed by chortling as you deny the accusation of making unfavorable Chuck Norris comparisons--might not enhance the mood.
The mood might suffer.
The mood might be lost.
The mood, in fact, might disappear for some time. Some long time. Some looooooooooooooong, indefinite, lonely time . . .
Not that I know this firsthand, of course. I'm just guessing at what could happen if you tried to have a nooner while Chuck Norris is on TV in the background . . .