Thursday, October 25, 2007

Wisdom, Schmisdom!

The best part about my older two children having birthdays is the shopping.

Inevitably, the subject of my children’s ages will come up sometime during the transaction. Mostly because I will have made some purposeful and obvious mention of the fact that I am shopping for my daughter or son.

"How old is your daughter?" the unsuspecting cashier will politely ask. Not that she cares, but it’s her job to pretend.

"She’s 20," I reply in the most disinterested, un-smug, voice I can muster.

And now she’s interested for real. "Twenty?!," she’ll exclaim. "You don’t look old enough to have a 20 year old!"

And there it is, folks. That right there is the sole reason I voluntarily gave birth at 18 and again at 20--so that twenty years later I could have a happy little pick-me-up twice a year.

Ahhhhh . . . satisfaction.

I still haven’t come to like this ‘being 40’ thing. I’d probably best get a grip on it soon, because eventually, I’m not even going to have 40 to cling to.

Happily--I have one great genetic thing going for me. We are not a beautiful people. We aren’t overly blessed with great talent of any sort nor with Nobel Prize worthy intellect. But much of my family looks far younger than they really are. I got a little of that. Hallelujah!

Upon meeting most people, I am thought to still be somewhere in the mid to late 30’s range. I like this very much. And some poor fools actually place me in the early 30’s region. Please bless these liars and flatterers during their time here on Earth, for they are surely on their way to hell.

But now, in my new job, I am seeing things that are worrying me. A lot.

Many of our customers are older folks. They look old. They sound old. They smell old. And they take lots of medication to combat old type infirmities. It is beyond me how they could possibly let themselves go like that.

I’m not going there.

Hearing aids and canes? No thank you. High blood pressure, failing eyesight, declining bone density--keep your distance.

I haven’t yet formulated a plan, but I’m working on it. Old isn’t for me. I’ve decided. And that’s that.


Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

I'm 38 and I've actually been carded within the past few years. I seriously doubt it's because I look 20, but it was nice all the same.

And I refuse to get/look old!

Geggie said...

Don't remind me of aging...thanks for visiting on my birthday, though.

whitenoise said...

Hmmmm... well, the alternative to aging is dying.

Pass my cane, will ya....?

countrymouse said...

Dude--ther *has* to be a better way! Jen and Geggie are on my side. It's 3 to 1, WN, you've been outvoted : )

Rick said...

To look as if you are in your thirties, and the life experience of 40, complete with green eyes, you are the total package! :)

ajooja said...

That really is the best, isn't it?

When my daughter did her last cheerleading thing, they had all the parents of all the seniors come out on the floor.

We had several people tell us we "looked so young" or were "the best looking couple out there."

It was great. :)

Angie said...

So just what are you saying, Country Mouse? "Better to burn out than fade away"? Don't worry. When the time comes I'll steer your walker in the direction of the nearest cliff and let you shuffle to your death. In the meantime you have many, many years to use those youthful looks to your advantage....

countrymouse said...

Sorry to disappoint, Rick . . . I'm just like any other 40ish housewife you see in the grocery store : )

Hey Ajooja--I'll bet you also get a lot of "you're not old enough to be a grandfather!" mileage too : )

No Angie--what I'm saying is that I'll be signing up for all the botox-plastic surgery-yoga-microdermabrasion-mega vitamin supplement-sacrifice to the gods of youth therapy I can afford. 'Cause that's what's important in life, right? ; )

WendyB said...

My goal is eternal youth also.

countrymouse said...

Wendy--if you find any secrets (drugs, surgery, deal with the devil) *please* share!