The best part about my older two children having birthdays is the shopping.
Inevitably, the subject of my children’s ages will come up sometime during the transaction. Mostly because I will have made some purposeful and obvious mention of the fact that I am shopping for my daughter or son.
"How old is your daughter?" the unsuspecting cashier will politely ask. Not that she cares, but it’s her job to pretend.
"She’s 20," I reply in the most disinterested, un-smug, voice I can muster.
And now she’s interested for real. "Twenty?!," she’ll exclaim. "You don’t look old enough to have a 20 year old!"
And there it is, folks. That right there is the sole reason I voluntarily gave birth at 18 and again at 20--so that twenty years later I could have a happy little pick-me-up twice a year.
Ahhhhh . . . satisfaction.
I still haven’t come to like this ‘being 40’ thing. I’d probably best get a grip on it soon, because eventually, I’m not even going to have 40 to cling to.
Happily--I have one great genetic thing going for me. We are not a beautiful people. We aren’t overly blessed with great talent of any sort nor with Nobel Prize worthy intellect. But much of my family looks far younger than they really are. I got a little of that. Hallelujah!
Upon meeting most people, I am thought to still be somewhere in the mid to late 30’s range. I like this very much. And some poor fools actually place me in the early 30’s region. Please bless these liars and flatterers during their time here on Earth, for they are surely on their way to hell.
But now, in my new job, I am seeing things that are worrying me. A lot.
Many of our customers are older folks. They look old. They sound old. They smell old. And they take lots of medication to combat old type infirmities. It is beyond me how they could possibly let themselves go like that.
I’m not going there.
Hearing aids and canes? No thank you. High blood pressure, failing eyesight, declining bone density--keep your distance.
I haven’t yet formulated a plan, but I’m working on it. Old isn’t for me. I’ve decided. And that’s that.