Saturday, September 22, 2007

cornered

Some of my friends have homemaking blogs. I love homemaking blogs. Cozy and inviting. So many interesting ideas. One of the staples of homemaking blogs is "corners."

A "corner" isn’t literally a corner, but an area in the home that has been decorated in a certain way (could be seasonal, could be a vignette filled with items of a particular time period . . . ) Like this. And this. Lovely, no?

I decided I could try to keep up with the Jones’. So I have photographed a corner of my home to share with you.

Mine is literally a corner. And there’s nothing special about this corner that warranted sharing with y’all. Except that it was the most inviting corner I could photograph right at that moment without doing any heavy lifting. Or lifting a finger.

Like the way the unfolded laundry sorta compliments the colors in the upholstery and pillow? Oh--and in case you’re wondering why I didn’t just move the pile of laundry, it’s because it was conveniently hiding the stains on the upholstery.

Oh sure--I could clean the upholstery. I have special cleaner for that fabric. But I can’t find it. I know its general location is the linen closet down the hallway. But . . . well, the linen closet is kinda scary.

Oh sure--I could clean the linen closet, but . . . Honestly? I don’t like cleaning closets. Or upholstery. Or pretty much anything.

The linen closet has been an unthinkable tragedy for a long time. A few weeks back (when Number One Son was here for the summer--sharing a bedroom with his little brother) I noticed a Bad Sort of Smell every time I walked down that hallway. Naturally, I assumed it was the boys’ room. I instructed them to shovel out the goat pen and encouraged them [nagged til their ears fell off] to catch up on their laundry.

The boys complied. Well, you know, kinda. But the Bad Sort of Smell didn’t go away. In fact, it became a Worse Sort of Smell. I became suspicious that maybe the smell was coming from the linen closet. And I became suspicious that it might be up to me to take care of it.

I cleaned out the linen closet. Okay, I started cleaning out the linen closet. I got as far as moving the ironing board which reminded me of a project I was working on for my sewing basket which reminded me that the sewing machine was set up on the kitchen table anyway and . . .

Some days later, sweet, patient, God-only-knows-why-he’s-still-married-to-me Mister needed a vacuum attachment. He braved the linen closet. He got further than the ironing board because, unlike me, he doesn’t suffer from a debilitating case of Easily Distractedosis Syndrome.

He sounded so perplexed when he asked the question, "So . . . who put a loaf of bread in the closet to rot? And why?"

9 comments:

whitenoise said...

Very funny. ;-)

With three young kids, the food thing happens here, too:

"Who's half-eaten sandwich is this under the coffee table?" (It's only there because the dog can't get to it.)

"Not mine." "Wasn't me." "Leah did it." "You think I would do something like that?" "Dad- I know it was you" (Not a chance...)

And so on...

Jennifer said...

Hey, at least your corner has impressive-looking books and a globe, so clearly you people are erudite and intelligent.

Did you ever determine how the bread came to be in the closet?

Storybook Woods said...

I can never write an interesting response because you have me laughing so dang hard. Love the bread in the closet !!! Love Clarice

Geggie said...

Your life is like a sitcom. I love it.

countrymouse said...

Ha ha, WN--love the part about the dog! Just about sums up the experience of 'a day in the life of a family'--don't you think? : )

Ummm, sure Jennifer, erudite and intelligent . . . but then, there's this and this.

Oh--and the bread? Near as we can figure, a grocery bag filled with cleaning supplies (I *love* buying them, it's after the purchase that the system breaks down) and a stray loaf of bread must have been put away in the closet. Never to be heard from again. Until . . .

Always glad to make you laugh, Clarice : ) "Will trade laughs for food."

Geggie--you give me the best lines! Not only am I clinging to "Award Winning Nice" but now I can also reassure hubby that his life isn't so bad after all--it's just like a sitcom!

Mary said...

Loaf of bread in the linen closet, eh? Sounds about like the "corner" of my car that housed Gruyere cheese, along with some lovely strawberries, given to me by my parents and promptly forgotten for several *hot* days this summer.

Susannah still hasn't gotten over being blamed for the stench (Seriously. The girl has some nasty shoes sometimes and since she seems utterly incapable of putting her shoes back where they belong, it seemed like a reasonable accusation)

At the very least she was able to indulge in an energetic display of self-righteous indignation once she found the source of the stench and it wasn't her fault but mine.

Never let it be said that I'm not a self-sacrificing mother working hard to make every incident useful and helpful to growing girls' self esteems.

countrymouse said...

omigosh, Mary! Well, the good news is that you've singlehandedly provided enough fodder for S's future therapist to afford a nice tropical vacation : )

CheekierMeSly said...

Ha. Your punch line reminded me of that great Bill Cosby bit: "Allright. Who put the bullet in the furnace? You know, you put a bullet in a furnace, it reflects on your mother."

So, do tell! How was the first day?

nashvegas said...

You're MY kind of housekeeper, Lady :-)