Tuesday, August 7, 2007

That Night

Because Cheek inspired me to let go and enjoy it for all that it was . . .


I know I have to stop thinking so often about you. I keep telling myself that, but . . . you're you . . . and I can't let go . . .

I know we can't be together, for so many compelling reasons. But that night we had together . . . Do you remember that night? That one night . . .


I can't explain why you have always been so special to me. I don't know if it's the way you look, or if it's the way you make me feel. But no matter how unfulfilling or unequal our relationship has been, I can't get past it. And I don't want to.


I was so ready for you that night. I had thought about it so many times. Thousands of times. That night fulfilled every promise. It was everything. The way you exhaled when my fingertips first touched you . . . how I inhaled your scent . . . the adrenaline rush when you touched me . . . I remember the taste of your sweet mouth . . .


You tickled me. I giggled. You made me want to dance with abandon. You made me want to sing--shapeless, formless songs . . . You whispered to me all evening until you were spent and we both quieted.


Is it okay for me to say this? Probably not. But I'm saying it anyway. I love you. I have since the beginning. I may never know how you really feel about me, but I will always love you.


That night . . .


Amy Winehouse loops over and over on my conscience. Exquisite, sticky web of guilt.


I cheated myself.
Like I knew I would.

I can't stop thinking of you. I can't stop wanting you.


I will recall that night as often as it takes so it never truly becomes part of the past. So close I can almost reach back and touch it.


That night . . .


That night when you held nothing back. You gave me everything that you are. And I savored every moment with you.


That night . . .


I am yours.


My beloved.


My Coca-Cola.

10 comments:

whitenoise said...

Wow. O'Brien's linking youporn, and now you're writing this... I'm suddenly feeling rather over-heated... ;-)

Geggie said...

I love it! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

countrymouse said...

Whitenoise--have a Coke, it'll cool you down ; )

Hi Geggie!

Rick said...

OMG! For a moment I thought that was about me. Then I think everything is about me! Was this really about me? ;)

Geggie said...

Rick, you're hilarious!

countrymouse said...

Sorry Rick, it's just about the carbonated love of my life from whom I have been separated . . .

But you can think anything you want : )

Kate said...

omg - this is hysterical. forwarding it to a friend trying to kick the Coke habit.

CheekierMeSly said...

Oooo! Fantastic bait and switch. All y'all should contribute similarly! My homework's already done, but I'll have an update soon.

countrymouse said...

Hey Kate--good luck to your friend! It's like giving up a trustworthy companion . . . or a selfish but sensational lover . . . *sniff*

I dig your approval, Cheek : ) It was your words "Enjoy that coke!" that inspired this letter to my love . . . And enjoy, I did!

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