Sunday, August 26, 2007

Countrymouse 101

This is my one-hundred-first post. I wanted to make a list of 101 random things. But ajooja already nailed that kind of post. Bastard.

I'm doing it anyway.

1. I am allergic to squid.

2. I discovered that fact in Spain when I was 15.

3. My friends and I were being adventurous and tried a dish called "calamari." Who knew?

4. I lost my virginity due to a misunderstanding.

5. My boyfriend and I were both confused about what the other one wanted.

6. We were both virgins. We didn't know what we were doing, but we cared very much about each other. I wouldn't change it.

7. I can't listen to the song "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell.

8. I have a visceral reaction to it and change the station the second I hear it start playing.

9. When I was 16, a radio station played it either right before or right after a news story about a teenage kid who went to jail overnight for traffic tickets. His parents opted not to bail him out so he would learn an important lesson about responsibility. He was placed in a cell with hardened criminal teenage thugs. He was tortured all night and found dead the next morning.

10. I connect that song with the dead boy, his awful death and his parents who must still writhe with guilt in their sleep.

11. Writing about that was difficult.

12. After my arm injury, I was forced to defer massage school until spring.

13. That bums me out.

14. A lot.

15. In a phone conversation with a friend I was relaying that news and I was surprised to feel my throat tighten up.

16. My friend didn't know what to do with that so he pretended not to notice and changed the subject.

17. I wish he would have acknowledged it.

18. During painful X-rays for aforementioned arm injury, I found comfort in the flowery smell of my deodorant. Weird.

19. Since buying my car 5 years ago, it has been hit no less than 4 times

20. The airbags have never deployed.

21. This troubles me.

22. I have 26 first cousins.

23. I like 5 of them.

24. My dog snores.

25. So does my husband.

26. My great-grandfather died on my 15th birthday.

27. Three of my four grandparents are still living.

28. All within 10 minutes of my house.

29. I see them about twice a year.

30. You don't know them. Or me. Don't judge.

31. I am meticulous about certain things.

32. Like keeping my hotel room spotless and organized when I'm out of town.

33. And having uber obsessively neat and tidy paperwork and planning notes when I volunteer for 4-H at the county fair.

34. But my house is regularly a disaster.

35. At the fair where I volunteer, I am the assistant to my dear friend Tracy. She is the County 4-H Sewing Superintendent.

36. Technically I am the Assistant Superintendent of 4-H Sewing for the entire county.

37. I don't sew all that much. And I don't really care about it. I'm only there to help Tracy and the 4-H kids.

38. Tracy loves to people watch. I'd much rather be sequestered in the office doing paperwork. Ridiculously meticulously.

39. Any form of sugar is a drug to me.

40. One of my favorite late night desperation snacks is saltine crackers and chocolate chips.

41. One night I was IMing with a friend who was stoned. He was trying to figure out how to cure his craving for sweets with Bakers' chocolate and limited other ingredients. I told him about saltines and chocolate. He asked me why I would ever eat such a thing. And then he tried it. Now he thinks I'm a freaking genius.

42. And he's right.

43. I'm embarrassed that I love sex as much and as frequently as most guys do.

44. I know that lots of women enjoy sex just as much as I do. But it feels trampy to admit it.

45. I have established a safety question to ask my daughter when she calls home late at night or when she's in circumstances I'm unsure of.

46. Neither of us can remember the right answer to the question.

47. I ask her the question and she asks, "Is it 'yes' or 'no' that means I'm fine?"

48. We both laugh and I'm comforted that she's okay.

49. I am desperately insecure.

50. I crave attention for certain things, but don't know what to do with it when I get it.

51. I think I'm unremarkable that way.

52. I used to be afraid every time I opened my car trunk that I would find a dead body.

53. I love very old country music.

54. But not country music newer than about 1972.

55. I used to be a medical transcriber.

56. In medical transcription, it's important not to make typographical errors.

57. Once I left a single letter out of a word, thereby drastically changing a man's diagnosis.

58. Instead of having a "foreign body" lodged in his eye, I typed that he had a "foreign boy" lodged in his eye. Sounds painful to me.

59. It was by way of transcribing for a family practitioner that I found out my then accountant has herpes.

60. The first time I gave a blow job was in the backseat at a drive-in movie.

61. My brother and his date were in the front.

62. I have no idea whether they knew what was going on.

63. I certainly had no idea what the hell I was doing!

64. My technique (and comprehension) have improved dramatically since that time ; )

65. From
Danish: The most bad-ass mother dudes in all of all of Europe.

66. That's right. I am Danish.

67. And a whole bunch of other stuff. But today I'm claiming mostly Danish.

68. After 6 or 7 years as a gymnast, I suddenly developed a fear of doing things backwards.

69. It affected all of my routines.

70. I had to give up vaulting entirely.

71. But I became adept at inventing interesting transitions so I could do a forward move where a backward one should have been.

72. I taught gymnastics for awhile in my early 20's.

73. I sucked at it.

74. I wish that I could draw or paint.

75. Or that I had an eye for photography.

76. Or that I had any artistic talent that I could pursue in the company of the people I love.

77. I don't share my writing with my family much.

78. I share it with strangers because I don't care how I am judged by strangers for the truth about myself that I write.

79. Or for the fiction I write about me : )

80. I secretly love The Partridge Family's "I Think I Love You." I find its pattern (sorry, I don't know music terminology) terribly interesting and not like most other pop songs.

81. I didn't know that song when I was a kid. I first really heard it sometime in my 30's.

82. Speaking of 30's, an acquaintance the other day said she thought I was in my early 30's.

83. I'm awfully vain. I loved that she thought I am that young.

84. And speaking of David Cassidy, his voice is not great. Not even good. But his brother Shaun's is decent.

85. I love everything about fall.

86. I have a memory of being about 8 or 9 and playing in the woods (as we did pretty much every day of my childhood.) It was fall and I was standing in a small clearing among maple trees. It was all filled with the yellow light of leaves on the ground and still in the trees. I remember the smell of that moment.

87. My friend Mary has the most sparkly, clear blue eyes. I notice that every Wednesday when I see her.

88. My husband has the most amazing and hunky arm and chest muscles. I notice that every time we have sex.

89. I am deathly afraid of carnival rides.

90. I liked them before I had children.

91. Youngest feels sad seeing handicapped children.

92. He asks me if mentally handicapped children can think and if they're happy.

93. I have a hard time answering those kinds of questions. Because I don't know either and it makes me sad too.

94. Youngest is also scared of carnies because they have missing teeth and use a lot of bad language.

95. He understands that they are people who have had difficult lives, but he's still afraid of them.

96. Number One Son and I have the shared experience of having such traumatizing nightmares at about age 10ish that neither of us could speak about those dreams for years and years and years. He still barely can.

97. When I was 7, one of my parents' friends was babysitting my brother and me. She dropped us off, along with her two daughters, at a park to play. When she picked us up, she took off while I was still holding on to the car door handle. My brother noticed I was missing and looked out the window to see me holding on and crying. The woman's reaction was, "Oh gee, I guess I should have counted noses."

98. To this day I do not respect that woman.

99. I once lost half a bikini while skinny dipping.

100. The last time I went skinny dipping was about 10 years ago with my husband on a family vacation. Late at night when the kids were asleep.

101. As a kid, I vacationed with my family on our boat in the San Juan Islands. Even now, waves rolling in on a gravelly beach remind me of summertime in the islands when I would rather have been at Disneyland. Now I'd give anything to be 10 years old and back in the islands with my mom and dad and brother.


whitenoise said...

Wow. So much to think about... ;-)

For example, how does anyone lose a piece of clothing while skinnydipping?


Rick said...

Very revealing!

Kuckie said...

Loved the list, Kristin! I am sitting here smiling so, as usual, you've done your job! And I've learned so many fun facts about you...Thanks!

Kate said...

LMAO here. wow - thanks for sharing!

countrymouse said...

Ever post something and then wonder if you've shared too much? I take comfort in the fact that most of you are strangers to me : )

whitenoise--you'd just have to be there . . .

Yes, Rick, maybe a little too . . .

Hey Kuckie & Kate--glad I could be an excuse for a smile : )

Mary said...

I love what you wrote about your memory of a fall day when you were small. I really cherish those moments that are cyrstallized, with incredible detail, in our memories forever.

ajooja said...

Bastard, here. :)

You know it took me months and months to finally finish mine. I think Avitable or someone I read did 100 lists on different subjects. I couldn't even imagine.

No. 50 sounds so much like me it's not even funny. I'd imagine a lot of bloggers are like that.

countrymouse said...

thanks, Mary : )

ajoojabastard! I think you're right about #50. Lots of us belong in that category : )