Monday, July 23, 2007

Guys: This is why when she says "jump" you don't bother asking any other question than "how high?"

"Hey, Sweetie?" I ask my patient husband who, at the end of the day, is sitting in his favorite chair. "I know you're tired now, but would you run down to the little store for me? I'm dying for a caffeine fix--I need a Coke."

Patient husband looks questioningly at me. "And why can't you go get one yourself?"

He knows better than to have asked.

"Are you sure you want the answer?" I giggle.

"Maybe," he answers wearily.

"Well, you can't tell right now because I'm wearing an apron, but I'm not wearing a bra and this t-shirt is a little thin. I can't go out in public like this."

"Yeah?" he bites, "so go put on a bra?"

"They're all in the washing machine, except for the ones I threw away, and the brand new ones I just bought today, but those still have the tags on them and I hate bra shopping so much that after about an hour I quit caring and didn't bother adjusting straps and looking for the perfect fit so I just bought what I kinda thought would work and it was such an awful shopping trip that I'm not about to go into our bedroom and see if any of them actually fit and if I'm not sure of the fit I don't want to take the tags off and . . . "

"You know you're clinically insane, don't you?" Patient husband asks as he heads for the door. Like I knew he would.

"Yeah," I tell him. Giggling.


Deb said...

Score: 1-0

(came here via whitenoise's blog. Good job on this one...been there done that. Once you start giving the big, LONG explanation, they're out the door. It's called girl power)

ajooja said...

Yeah, I try not to ask too many questions of my wife.

Once you ask one, and you start getting the answer, you damn well better start getting your shoes on. :)

Storybook Woods said...

Ohhh one for the chick file !!! Clarice

whitenoise said...

(sigh) Yeah, I'm a victim of spousal manipulation, too. Usually she dangles the remote promise of some action. Ms. Pavlov rings that bell, this dog drools, but in the end, Lucy snatches the football away.

(How's that for mixed pop-culture metaphors...?) ;-)

Rick said...

This one makes me glad I didn't make the height requirement! :)

Kristin said...

Hi Deb : ) Yep to girl power and yep to Clarice's chick file : )

ha ha Ajooja, yep, just do what you know you're going to end up doing anyway!

oooooh whitenoise, manipulation? Ouch! I was asking a favor, not making promises . . .

sorry to disappoint, Rick. When it comes down to it, all women are pretty much the same afterall : )

Influencebad said...

You're so sneaky! ^_^

"The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck. And the neck can turn the head any way she wants." ^_^

Kuckie said...

I have participated in this same phenomenon in my house! And I don't even feel guilty about it... (well, most of the time...*insert evil laugh*)

CheekierMeSly said...

whitenoise, what you are referring to is "the power of the promise", as 'splained so well in Jill Connor Browne's bible The Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love. To wit, "if you do this l'il' ol' thing for me, I'll give you a blow job". Said promise is never actually delivered, according to Jill. Just promised.

Not that it's right. I'm just sayin'. Bless your dear heart.

I recommend reading the book. It does not suck. Hmmm, I think it's time to make some Chocolate Stuff and drink some Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas!