Sunday, May 13, 2007

A Tragic Comedy. Or a Comic Tragedy? The Reviews Aren't In Yet . . .

Back Story: This year I determined to spend Mother's Day doing what makes me happy.

Setting the Stage: Beautiful is insightful. She gets it. But she has 3 jobs. She hasn't had time to clue the guys in to what would make a great day for Mom. And by "clue the guys in," I mean club them over the head repeatedly with it until they swell with understanding.

Tech Rehearsal: I can't expect the three guys to read my mind. So, for my benefit and theirs, I wrote it all down. Neatly typed and posted on the refrigerator door. My wish list for the setting, the food . . .

So proud of my strategy, I excitedly told Number One, "Hey, go take a look at the fridge!" He went to the refrigerator, opened the door, and looked around confusedly for whatever surprise he thought I had made for him. This doesn't bode well . . .

Last Minute Script Changes:

  • Brother-in-law makes reservations for dinner with the entire family at 4pm Sunday. So much for having an evening at the movies with Mister.
  • Beautiful learns that she has to work Sunday afternoon. There goes my vision of spending the day picnicking at a beach with my family. But we can still salvage something of my plan, right?
  • Sadly, I say to Mister, (and the direct quote is important here) "The beach just won't be the same without Beautiful."

Act I
Scene I

  • Mister wakes up Sunday morning and throws a load of his laundry into the washer. Since it's Mother's Day, and I've been really sick for over a week, Mister is happy to do the laundry.
  • Number One wants to know if we're going anywhere. When I tell him we're doing whatever special thing they have planned for me, he shrugs and says, "Well, if we're not doing anything, I guess I'll go to church instead."
  • Mister returns from local grocery store with a colorful bouquet of this-is-all-they-had-left-and-I-should-have-planned-it-out-better. And then he goes outside to putter around.
Scene II

  • Beautiful surprises me with a lovely basket of Mother's Day goodies--including a pair of really fun shoes!
  • Youngest rides his bicycle to the little country market down the street and spends his hard earned cash on a sweet card and what I am convinced is an expensive and high quality gold necklace. Awwwwwww . . .
  • As I am demonstrating a little irritation with Mister because nothing has been planned (with a quote something like, "You suck!") Mister's response is, "But I thought you told me that you didn't want to do anything since Beautiful has to go to work." [See Last Minute Script Changes for the actual dialogue.]
Scene III

  • Mister decides we are going out for brunch. Reservations be damned!
  • Though we have just agreed on brunch, Number One, in an effort to get back on my sane side, whips up a batch of delicious cranberry scones. Just before brunch . . .

A Quick Costume Change

  • The scones are almost done baking. Beautiful, Youngest and I are dressed and ready to go. Number One is taking a quick shower. Mister sits at the computer in his work clothes. I ask, "Are you going to change so we can go?" His answer is, "But my clothes aren't in the dryer yet." And then I understand. "So what you're saying is that you did your laundry to be prepared to go out this afternoon with your mother?" Mister answers with a sheepish grin.
Act II

  • Brunch with my hubby and kids was great.
  • Received an unexpected, and seriously thoughtful, phone call from a friend who doesn't have kids--but she gets it!
  • Came back home and watched the movie Beautiful gave me, "Because I Said So." The perfect overbearing mother movie : ) At first it was just Beautiful and me snuggled up on the couch enjoying the show. Then Number One joined us. Beautiful dozed off. And then came the scene with the two women discussing--and describing with hand gestures and body motions--what an orgasm feels like. Number One and I did an outstanding job of faking that we weren't really in a room together watching this particular scene of the movie. And we'll never speak of it again.

  • Dinner with the entire family. The usual personalities. The usual conversation. The usual uniqueness of my 13 year old nephew. For today's entertainment, he made a set of grillz out of mint wrappers.
  • Came back home to comfy sweats and laundry that needs catching up on. (Mister kindly suggested I wait until after midnight so I'm not actually doing chores on Mother's Day : )
Curtain Call

  • The love scene. Director's cut.

  • heh, heh . . .


whitenoise said...

somtimes you gotta laugh or you'll end up cryin'... ;-)

Mary said...

Wait a minute. Are you absolutely sure you weren't here in my house yesterday??

My favorite moment of my "mother's" day yesterday was my devoted spouse telling me he'd just about been "cleaned" to death (I asked for the house to be truly cleaned tip to toe) and he was finished. Now, granted, much work had been done, but a lot of it was "man" work. You know that kind? The kind where somehow dusting the baseboard is more important than folding the 4 loads of laundry piled up in baskets right beside the baseboard? Anyway, I thought, well okay, I got something out of the deal.

The forgiving attitude I had though vanished when I noticed that he spent hours *outside* (which is looking pretty nice) finishing up tasks that could easily wait for another day. So much for being "tired".


Kristin said...

yeah--what's up with working outside like it's not "work"?

I forgot to mention that I ended up sacrificing the bouquet of last minute floral leftovers to his mom because just as we were leaving for the family dinner I realized he had nothing for her. I later bought myself the amythest tulips I really wanted : )