Wednesday, April 4, 2007

It's An Underful Life

So I finally broke down today and bought new underwear. I won't go into the intimate details of that purchase, suffice to say, Mister is happy. And nonsuspicious : )

I was in the lingerie section of a department store considering my options. There was a married couple shopping for unmentionables and I thought, "Oh, how sweet. They're shopping for the fun stuff together."

And then it became less sweet.

The woman (who was very large--and that's important for the visual here) lifted her shirt above her waist, and leaned over. Dutifully, her husband pushed the blouse up far enough in back so he could check the size of the bra that was currently strapped to her person. Yep. Right there. Right there in the middle of the bra department. A fitting room was but steps away, but, for this woman, the better choice was to halfway undress her large, white, lumpy frame right there so her husband could offer his support.

Now at this point in my narrative is it necessary for me to clarify that the "department store" I was in happened to be WalMart? Yeah. Didn't think I needed to mention that.

My kingdom for a digital camera . . .


Rick said...

I know that couple! They were in our Walmart on Saturday!

whitenoise said...

Isn't that funny- our Walmart, too. ;-)

I always wonder, though, as I'm busy thinking that I'm the exception to the usual clientel- if other people are having that same thought only they're lumping me in with the rest...

CheekierMeSly said...

You'd never see such graceless displays in Targét! Sucks to be you (STBY), whitenoise, that they're not in Canada yet.

So what *was* the bra size in question? Was it "uddered"?

CountryMouse, while at WalMarché, did you pick up some of the Sam's Choice Smoked Almonds? Smokiest ever - very damn vivid!

whitenoise said...

You forget, Cheek. Us canucks OWN Florida. I've been in many Targets.

OTOH, I'd bet that you have never shopped at Biway or Saan...

(not that yer missin' much....)

Mary said...

I'm speechless. Only in America.

I'm skeptical at my ability to forget your very vivid description of your adventure in undergarments.

Previously my reasons for not shopping at Walmart were all philosophical. Now we must add the terrifying prospect of coming upon LWLFF (Large White Lumpy Framed Female) and her significant other.

God help us if we come across them in the condom aisle.