Thursday, March 15, 2007

My Infernal 'To Do' List


Note To Self:

  • June 12, 2006: Work hard this year. Look HOT for 40th birthday.

Reality Check:

  • March 12, 2007, 8:45 a.m.: There isn't enough time before birthday to achieve planned hotness.

New Plan:

  • 8:46 a.m.: Before birthday, convince entire culture to revise definition of 'hotness' to mean something a little more Rubenesque. And doughy.

Reality Check:

  • 8:47 a.m.: There isn't enough time left in century to achieve planned cultural revision.

Newer Plan Still:

  • 8:48 a.m.: Go to the gym once in awhile. Attempt looking hot-ish for 40th birthday.
  • Maybe 41st birthday . . .

Revised New Plan:

  • 8:49 a.m.: The gym will still be there tomorrow.
  • Today, finish eating all 6 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Alone.

No comments: