Some weeks ago I was in a dollar store. [Incidentally, if you're detecting a hint of whitetrashiosis in my makeup--WalMart, sleeping in late, dollar store--you might be on to something. More about that some other time.] I'm not certain it's the law, but doesn't pretty much everything in the dollar store cost a dollar?
So, I'm standing in the check out line waiting and I take a glance at the impulse buy rack. It offers the usual last minute purchase items: candy, batteries, nail clippers, early pregnancy tests.
I literally laughed out loud. Early pregnancy tests on the impulse buy rack. This arrangement begs several questions:
1) What woman ever in the history of sex and pregnancy has uttered the phrase, "I think I'm pregnant. I should go to the dollar store to find out."
2) How many women go to the dollar store, carefully pick out a set of plastic tumblers, potpourri, soap, hairbrush, and as they pay for their items peruse the last chance bin and think to themselves, "Oh yes, that reminds me, my period is late. I should buy one of those tests."
3) Is a pregnancy test purchased at the dollar store--for A DOLLAR!--going to be reliably accurate? I'm just sayin' . . .
4) Why weren't condoms on the rack too? Wouldn't that actually be the better choice of impulse buy items? 'Cause if you didn't bother with the impulse condoms before the impulse sex, isn't the impulse pregnancy test kinda like shutting the barn door after the cows impulsively get out?
5) Maybe they used to offer dollar packs of condoms on that rack. Followed by recall. Followed by dollar pregnancy tests . . .