As my blog's subtitle suggests--okay, as it outright declares--there are voices in my head. My voices have quite the conversation going on daily, they even permeate my dreams. They vie for top billing when I write, but tend to scuttle off to dark corners in real life. I thought it would be fun to introduce you to the cast. Actually, I thought it would be tedious, but the cast insisted. They all wanted their turn in the spotlight.
Country Mouse is a good place to start. She's the agoraphobic in me. Though she sounds timid and shy, she's the one who wields the power. She's the one who talks everybody else inside my head into not wanting to leave the house. Into hanging out at home in a comfy pair of sweats. Country Mouse is the one who encourages the rest of the voices to write.
Country Mouse's closest friend and confidant is Peach. Peach is who you meet in public. At the Post Office, at parties, in the grocery store. Peach is insecure and awkward in social situations, like Country Mouse, but Peach recognizes her obligation to keep up at least the facade of a treaty with the outside world.
Ohhhh, and then there's Verdana. Verdana cuts a wide swath through my life. Verdana is jealous and envious and bitter and, frankly, kinda bitchy. I try and try to counsel Verdana to dial it down a click, but to no avail. Verdana is strong. Strike that. She's powerful. Strike that. She's formidable!
Verdana is thick as thieves with Vendie. Vendie's the girl to watch out for. Don't ever cross Vendie! Vendie is the girl who, if you hurt her, will keep a straight face while saying, "I would like to tell you that you lack intelligence and breeding, but I'll refrain because it would be spiteful and vindictive of me." Oddly, Vendie's only real strength lies in writing. The others seem to have the superhuman pull which keeps Vendie in check when face to face with people. But, boy does she make the others suffer for it later!
Verdana and Vendie are pretty ugly, I admit. Luckily for me, there's also Sexy Girl. By comparison, she is a breath of fresh air. (Though sometimes she and Verdana put their heads together and create a seriously volatile mix!) Sexy Girl possesses all the confidence. Sexy Girl is flirtatious and daring and playful and exciting. Sexy Girl is up for skinny dipping and partying till dawn. Sexy Girl, more often than not, makes her appearances when alcohol is involved . . .
And girl, you have just got to meet Shaniqua LaShaundra LaBelle! Shaniqua is Miss Attitude! You only catch glimpses of Shaniqua--just a flash--mostly visible in my eyes. Shaniqua shows her quick witted self when I have been insulted or taken for granted. "Oh, no, you ditn't!" Shaniqua makes her presence known just long enough to let a person know there will be no treading on me!
A few lesser personalities are Kiki, Kristi and CPA. Kiki is my inner cheerleader! Go team! Kiki cheers everybody on! Kiki has a positive attitude! Kiki sees the glass half full! Kiki can't wait to tell someone, 'way to go'! Kiki bugs the hell out of me! And everyone else!
Kristi . . . oh, Kristi . . . Kristi is the former gymnast in me who is clamoring for re-release. Kristi hasn't been seen publicly in many a year. Kristi is forever youthful and energetic and has all the strength and coordination and athletic self-assurance that is the hallmark of any young competitor. I miss Kristi terribly. But once in awhile, when nobody is looking, Kristi is allowed a quick outing. A cartwheel here, a walkover there . . . and if she's feeling particularly strong, maybe even an attempt at flying . . . *sigh*
CPA. CPA has no sense of fun whatsoever. CPA is the one most likely to wrestle Sexy Girl to the ground and hold her down, rattling off numbers and tabulating outrageous costs until Sexy Girl gives in and abandons whatever sinful fun is afoot. Way to go CPA. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The most complicated and least understood voice in my head is The Mama. The Mama has a whole subset of her own voices. The Mama can be tender and warm, intuitive and giving--as you would expect a mother to be. The Mama can also be cold and distant and unforgivably selfish. The Mama can be overly helpful (at which time she is affectionately referred to as S'Mother.) She can be demanding and exacting and encouraging and manipulative and affectionate and intelligent and loathsome--sometimes all in one breath. The Mama is a conflicted creature, at best.
Finally, there is Kristin. Kristin is the me that my family and closest friends know. Kristin is fairly honest. Kristin trembles at conflict. Kristin tries very hard to bring out the best of the combined voices--but damn it's a lot of work to get everyone on the same page! Kristin would also like to believe that Billy Joel's "She's Always a Woman" was written about her. Kristin suffers delusions of grandeur . . .
There are many other supporting characters, but these are the major players--the ones who speak with the greatest volume and force. They're pretty much all I can deal with. If the rest of the characters in my head want a voice, they're going to have to start their own blog : )